No Way Out
by AnonymouslyUntitled
Summary: Lily Evans does not want to love James Potter. NO. Everyone she loved gets hurt, and there's no way in hell that she would let him suffer. So she left him and went into depression. Her eyes no longer shined with happiness. There is no way out of this.


**No Way Out**

**Ship:** L/J

**Summary:** Lily Evans does not want to love James Potter. NO. NO. NO. Everyone she loved gets hurt, and there's no way in hell that she would let him suffer. So she left him and went into depression: She moved far away into the shanties; she gave up her job. Her eyes no longer shined with happiness, there is no way out of this.

_Chapter 1 - The End and The Beginning_

It was raining. _How ironic_, she thought. The weather decided to mirror her thoughts.

She was sitting at a fast food chain, chewing a burger that she ordered while waiting for her guest to arrive. He's not exactly her guest... he was much more than that. Actually, he was her boyfriend. And today, she decided to end things up for them. She can't take their relationship further. She didn't want to love him anymore.

What a ridiculous thing: Love. To think that she always thought that love was the answer to everything. But no, it's not. Her parents are DEAD.

She fought back the tears that threatened to fall. She refused to cry anymore. If she cried, she'll never get over this. Their faces seem to swim in front of her eyes. She tried never to think of it again, but she can't deny that she missed her sweet and doting mother.

Thinking that she had no one else to turn to is a hopeless feeling. Before, she used to go to her mother to help her with her problems.

Her mother always had the best advice; when she told her about that idiot Potter and his pranks, she advised her to ignore it. And she was right! Potter stopped pranking her, and even left her alone for a while. She didn't think that it would turn out to something more annoying: he started to like her. He asked her out every possible Hogsmeade weekend, but she always refused. She cannot see why Hogwarts loved that miserable mischief maker. He was nothing but an arrogant and bullying toerag. She went about her own business and eventually landed the Head girl position. She was ever so surprised when she saw James Potter, the same toerag, sitting in the prefect's compartment and wearing the Head boy badge.

They were forced to go on rounds together during their seventh year, but he wasn't the same James Potter. She heard that his father died that summer, the usual merry face of James Potter became nothing but a vague mask. She did not see him smile anymore, and to her initial relief: he stopped asking her out.

Good riddance, really! But she figured out that she actually missed the old Potter. So, she became what he was: jolly, always smiling and annoying - to him, at least. She got him to crack up, and he returned. They started going out until they graduated.

And now - this. She can't bare to see James suffer, so she decided to end up everything. She can't allow him to have the same fate as her parents... to have the same fate as her best friend. The door leading to the fast food opened and the bell at the top rang with an oddly melodious tune. In went a muffled up man, wearing dark and heavy clothing, his jet black hair sopping wet. She watched him scan the room with his eyes, finally landing on the spot on where she sat, frozen. The moment their eyes met, his eyes lit up, and she tentatively gave a small smile.

He moved to sit with her, she put the half-finished burger down and looked at him.

"Never knew why you wanted to meet here of all places," he told her, complete with his trademark grin. He sat down in front of her, took off his coat and ran his hand through the black mass that was his hair. Lily's eyes followed his movements nervously. His voice dropped to a whisper, "And in the Muggle world too."

"Look, James. I know you're a busy man and all -," she started, but James cut her off by grabbing the hand she left lying on top of the table.

"I'm never too busy for you Lily. You know that," he smiled. Lily looked away, she can't lose herself to his eyes now. Not now that she wanted to end it all. With more strength than she wished to release, she pulled back her hand. She laid them on top of her lap, on top of the other and stared at them. James immediately knew that something was wrong.

"Is there a problem?" his voice was full of concern. She determinedly refused to look him in the eye, for she knew then that her resolve would be broken. She cleared her throat. She can feel his eyes gazing at her. She had to do it. Now.

"No. Er - James, I ... Uhm... How was work?" she stumbled. Come on Lily! Where's your Gryffindor courage?

James' eyebrows rose but said instead, "Better. Now that I'm getting the hang of it. I was way more relaxed back at Hogwarts of course."

Lily mumbled something incoherent. Even she herself did not understand what came out.

"You're really not alright are you? Lily, come on. Tell me," there he was again, he's making this very hard for her. She wished that he had just left his caring side at work.

"Lily, you do know that I love you, right? You can tell me anything, I'll understand," he was persuading her to soften up. No, no, you can't.

James, I love you too... but...

"Jamesorryletsendis," she said in a rush, and without clearing it up with him, without looking at his reaction, she stood up and left him sitting there. When she got out of the fast food, she let the tears flow freely. If people thought that saying goodbye to the love of her life was a mere whim or a prank, they must think again. She actually took things into consideration before deciding to meet up with him tonight. She thought that if she wanted to disappear from his life completely, then she must not leave any traces at all.

She had already sold her childhood home, fully furnished, and abandoned her job - her dream job, actually. She had brought the money she had gotten from the sale of her house to a muggle friend she intended to live with after she had broken up with James.

Quietly, she turned to a dimmer, narrower alley, making her way to the house. She really wanted to hide, so she picked a place that no one would choose to look for her - the slums. A really poor but very kind old muggle friend of hers lived there, and she promised her friend that she will help. The alley eventually ended with a rough road with few streetlights, a river ran nearby.

Lily, tired and worn from lots of thinking these few days, slowly dragged herself to the nearest run-down shack in sight. It was dilapited, but in a better shape than most houses. There was a rusty door knocker, hanging from the middle of the tin door. There really was no need to knock - no one was in there, yet. Lucy worked the graveyard shift and came home only in the mornings.

She put the old key into the metal lock and pushed open the door. She went straight to her bedroom, dropped her bag on the floor and threw herself on the small bed fully-clothed. She turned over to look out the window. That was it, she lived a different life now. She had to get a grip on herself.

Slowly, she sat up, wiping away her tears. Pulling on a determined face, she went to the bathroom to wash her face. She put on a different coat, wanting to appear as presentable as possible. She decided to go look for a job.

It's probably safer for her to look for a job in the muggle world. Her dark red hair and bright green eyes were too noticeable and she didn't want James finding her.

Lily had few interests in the job oppurtunities left for her. She never finished her muggle schooling so there was no way she can work at a high end company. Maybe she can apply as a janitor? Sweep the floors of some big shot building and look as downtrodden as possible. No - not her thing and definitely, not good for her dignity. Something small... somewhere no one would ever find her.

A cashier? Probably. But where? She roamed around the town for several minutes, looking at restaurants, old music stores, a shop that sold trinkets from movies... a fashion store? Nope, something more of her tastes. Besides, there were no openings. For several more minutes, she walked around, becoming more desperate as time passed by. She had almost given up hope when she saw it. THERE! The answer to her problems.

The start of her new life is here. She can no longer look back.


End file.
